GREETINGS from Boise, Idaho!  

I’ve had an unexpected extended stay here.

What I’m noticing…

…I’m coming into myself in a new way.

Some things that mattered to me don’t anymore.

What will I make of my life?

It can only be that which nourishes my highest self.

Thank you to these hills and creek for helping me know!

I’ve written an article for you exposing the not-so-pretty side of awakening.

May it bring you insight and comfort as you continue your journey of becoming.

READ ON!

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Awakening to new heights, new awareness and greater truths of who you are is dominantly presented as such a glamorous affair.

But that’s an incomplete representation that can lead you down a slippery slop of denial, judgment, and self-hatred.

The truth is… it’s not all sunshine and rainbows!

Without an understanding of what really goes on with ALL aspects of the process, you can believe that something is wrong with you. That you are losing it.
Or even that you are going crazy.

As a leader, I feel a responsibility to be real with you.

I am graced with a lifestyle that you get to see with pictures of me care-free on the beach in Kauai, epic shots of me in the grandiose mountains of Peru…living the dream.

Yet I also navigate the same emotions, fears and messiness you likely encounter.

My recent health crisis has brought me to my knees.

I’m honestly still piecing it together, teasing out the wisdom and re-building.

True to my form, I have chosen to inquire about the purpose it has for me… and for you. I can’t stay mired in my story too long. My soul seeks greater purpose.

I can see that the the physical symptoms are part of a larger awakening that is occurring.

And because you are likely going through or will go through something similar, I want to help.

I want to talk about the parts of the growth process that feel hard, awkward, disorienting, unsettling and down right terrifying.

I don’t want you to make the mistake of misinterpreting these symptoms — thinking something is wrong with you or that you are going “backwards”.

I want you to understand that these unsettling and disorienting experiences are a natural part of the expansion. And, that by resisting them, it only gets worse.

My advice is to be fierce in your self-compassion, get impeccable support and surrender in trust.

A theme is that- whatever the symptoms- they are forces you cannot ignore so that you slow down, simplify, and re-examine who you are and what your life means to you.

The ultimate intention is your freedom, and your awakening is a discovery into your true self.

Here are some of the symptoms I’ve experienced.

1) Sudden waves of emotion.

Oh yeah, baby. Plenty of tissue has been at hand!  I’ve been feeling it. A lot of tears.

Emotions are our allies. Even though you can believe the opposite in the moment.

Your emotional intelligence can process things your mind just can’t comprehend. Emotions cleanse and release. They also point you toward what is most vital for your growth.

Energy needs to move! Otherwise we become pent up, clogged up, resentful, hardened and heavy. Emotions help keep us light.

2) Old “stuff” coming up. Body memories, suppressed emotions, archaic patterns.

It’s time to clean house in way you never have before. For me, this has included an activation of energies and patterns in my system that didn’t have a safe outlet earlier in my life. My body held so much for me, and it’s not willing to anymore. Not only that, the vibration and habits of suppressed and archaic patterns just don’t line up with who you and I are becoming.

I know this can be disconcerting. If you’re like me, you’ve done TONS of healing and personal growth and might feel frustrated that this old “stuff” is surfacing again.

The good news is that you don’t have to figure it out. You don’t have to even go through the memories again. Just let your body release for you. I’ve spent hours on my back laying on the ground or earth, simply allowing in humbleness.

3) Hypersensitivity. Amplification of the senses.

I’ve always been a sensitive person, but holy wow!

With the opening of new channels comes greater subtle awarenesses. Sounds, scents, exposure to news, food.

Boundaries and impeccable self-care is the remedy here. Don’t worry about being too much. You can’t compromise yourself in ways you used to. Your soul won’t let it.

I’m a basket case if I don’t stay on this.

4) A restless desire to break free from restrictive patterns, life-draining and consuming lifestyles, and toxic people or situations.

I’m not talking about your usual “nudge” for change that gives you time to reflect on your plan and casually decide a date in the future to implement.

I’m talking an impatient urgency. I’m talking a sense that if you don’t make these changes now, you will be in danger and/or your life will be majorly compromised.

5) A feeling that you are somehow different.

I’ve always felt a bit on the outside. You feel me?

The rebels, the way showers, the feelers… we tend to feel like the odd balls and weirdos growing up.

But this shift is bringing forth a whole new quality of feeling different. I actually feel altered sometimes.

I feel a disquieting sense that everything about my life is new and altered. I’ve left who I was behind and am completely re-orienting.

It’s an “in-between” place.

6) Deep sadness about the suffering in the world.

This is one of the reasons I’ve had the sudden and intense waves of emotions. My heart is opening and my compassion is deepening … it’s part of being more awake. And I care for our planet, our children and for you. Sometimes, I get overwhelmed
by the heartache and suffering.

Part of me wants to curl up in a ball of denial, but what I’m choosing is to allow the process to soften me and to gain greater inner strength to serve.

7) Intolerance for superficiality.

OMG. I. JUST. CANNOT. WILL. NOT. PUT. UP. WITH.
PERSONA. FAKE. PRETENDING. SURFACE. BS. IN. ME.
OR. OTHERS. PERIOD. IT’S. AN. INSULT. TO. MY. SOUL.

Well, so there you have it. The not so pretty side of awakening.

Again, my advice is to be fierce in your self-compassion, get impeccable support and surrender in trust.

Stock up on tissue, get comfortable with punching pillows or squirming around on the floor like a snake, be vulnerable in asking for help and keep breathing.

You’ve got this!

(Pssst. We get into the not-so-pretty side of money next week in Seminar #2 of Medicine of Money. These parts we deny become shadows. Shadows are one of the biggest money and wealth leaks. If you want to discover more, come play!)