Endings are an inevitable part of the cycle of life.
Whether it be the end of year, end of a project, end of an experience, end of a relationship…and yes, even the end of a life.How you do endings impacts the quality of your life. Sometimes in avoiding the finality of ending, we don’t really bring intentional closure to it. It’s one thing to end, and it’s another to end well.

When you avoid an ending or don’t feel complete with it, it stays with you. Depending on the nature of the ending, it can carry a burden or weight in your life. Or, it may just not allow you to open to the new beginnings that want to arise when the ending is honored.

Being present for endings offers riches in life that most people pass up. While pain can be a part of them, when presence is chosen, the natural salve of life provides comfort and understanding. Not only that, a greater purpose & deeper relationship with the moment and experience is discovered.

What most people don’t understand about finding peace is that the more you fight, avoid or resist what is, the greater the gap between you and peace.

Peace comes from your ability to be with what is.

Ultimately, finding peace is an inside journey. No circumstances and no person can make peace a reality for you. Only you can.

How To Find Peace in Endings in 4 Steps

1) Take a look at what is ending or needs to end. For example:

• Your list of goals for 2009.
• An undone project that’s gone way passed its time.
• A conflict in relationship or conversation you need to have with someone.
• An experience from the past that you still hold on to.

2) Identify what you need to feel closure.

What about that situation is ending or needs to end? If it’s an ending that is inevitable, how can you end it well? If it is one that you have some time with (i.e. a list of tasks to do), get real about what it will take to bring it to close.

3) Identify what support you need.

What kind of support do you need to end well?
Accountability from a coach?
A hug from a friend?
A good cry in the company of a trusted companion?
Resources on grief or forgiveness?

4) Do it.

You just gotta take action on the things you know you need to do.

OTHER HELPFUL CONSIDERATIONS

• When it comes to more painful endings, i.e. a relationship or the passing of a loved one, consider checking in honestly with yourself about what you need to feel closure. This is especially worthwhile when it comes to someone passing. If you have a chance to say something you want to say to them, stand in your courage to say what you want to say.
• There is a purpose to every cycle of life. If you are dealing with an ending that is particularly hard for you to find peace with, keep this is mind. One thing you can do is make a list of how the situation has brought you life and taught you lessons.
• One of the most common reasons that people cannot find peace and allow endings (and new beginnings) is because they are tripped up by their expectations and should’s. They have a list of expectations that did not get met, which leads to feelings such as disappointment. Then, there’s the attachment of the “should have’s”. These reek havoc on peace. What happened, or what is happening, is what happened or is happening. So, to have a story that it should have been anything that what it was or it is deny’s reality. In doing so, you are fighting a battle that you will never win. Through acceptance, you will find peace.
• Bring gratitude to endings. Reflect on what you learned, how you have grown, how the person or situation has contributed to your life. And simply feel thankful for what is has gifted to you (yes, even if it’s been a challenge).

REMEMBER===>

Peace is a natural extension of your core aliveness. When you honor the cycle’s of life, you tune into this truth.

Whatever the present moment contains, accept is as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy. This will miraculously transform your whole life.”~Eckhart Tolle