Honestly?
I’m ready to put 2013 to rest!
Quite frankly, 2013 kicked my ass.
Don’t get me wrong.
I’ve had truly extraordinary times.
However, I would say this year stands out
as one of the hardest in my adult life.
I’m not so naive to think that blissing out on all the new year
hoopla is going to make the challenges of 2013 go away.
My enthusiasm for the new year really is not about running
away from it all. I don’t have anything to hide or avoid or
resist.
In fact, that was part of the kick ass nature of my year.
There was no hiding, no avoiding, no resisting. It was a FULL
ON be-you-get-real-get-humble-come-out-of-the-shadows
kind of year.
What I know to be true is that moving forward requires
you to deliberately evaluate lessons and give thanks.
Otherwise, the hype of the new year will quickly wear off as
the default of the so-called-hidden stuff under the surface
rears its head again.
In service to moving forward with intention and in gratitude
(and modeling to you what it can look like), I’m capturing
some of my highlights and lessons of 2013…
BELIZE BABY
I was so proud of myself to leap into a commitment
that most people would think is crazy. I invested a very large sum
of moola to work with a prominent high-end coach. We kicked off
the year on a private island in Belize.
It was a mind-blowing experience on many levels.
A key lesson for me was in receiving.
As I enjoyed this sweet villa resting on the oceans edge,
I smacked up against some upper limits.
I felt selfish for being there.
I felt like I was asking for too much when my private butler would come
around and provide me with my personal requests (I did love those
shrimp cocktail!)
There it was, another layer of unworthiness.
I welcomed the awareness, as I know that liberation from limits
comes through the light of realization.
I let myself squirm in the discomfort.
I chose to release loyalty to deprivation.
I said yes to loving myself and to having more.
The heart of work we did there set a core & profound
unraveling into motion. More on that later…
I also celebrated my first international VIP Intensive with
a client. Here we are after a snorkeling excursion I took
her on.
GUATEMALA
From Belize I flew to Guatemala where I spent time in
and around Antigua.
What a juxtaposition– from opulence to poverty.
I intended it that way so that I could expand my
capacity to be in the spectrum. To allow more abundance,
yet stay humbled in the awareness of how too many of
our brothers and sisters on the planet still live in scarcity.
It was rewarding to be there in support of a mission for
an organization that my mom is a board member of,
Common Hope.
I got to see her shine in her leadership. And I got to
contribute to the worthy cause. This included helping
build a house for a family as well as meeting children
whose education we sponsor.
Such gratitude for this heart-opening journey.
BLACK OUT
From Guatemala I went to Tucson, Arizona and stayed
with my mom for a few weeks. Upon our return, she
got really sick from a virus picked up while away.
I cared for her between clients. Despite my diligent
self-care, I did end up catching it.
It was a doozy.
Fever, body aches, and other not-so-pleasant-aspects
that I’ll spare you the details of.
One day, I was in the bathroom and felt light headed.
The next thing I knew I was re-orienting myself, trying
to get my bearings.
I realized that I had lost consciousness.
I was lying on the floor with my face in blood.
I had fallen.
My nose was bleeding.
My lip was cracked open.
I had chipped off part of my front tooth.
Long story short, this development brought
back a part of my life from just over 20
years ago– my diagnosis of Epilepsy.
There have been a couple more occurrences
this year of black outs, which really
brought me face-to-face with my mortality
in a way I’ve never experienced.
For the first time in my life I felt a
kind of urgency previously unknown to me.
I even heard the voice, “I’m not ready to die!”
after one of my blackouts.
I felt deeply unsettled at times as
I navigated this new terrain.
While it was difficult to be with the
feelings that were stirred for me, I
am grateful for the new found regard
I have for life.
For it has always been a drive of mine
to live an awake, fulfilled, on purpose
life. And if there was ANY part of me
holding back or playing safe, this year
and my challenges with my health were
a sure-fire way to get me back fully in
the game.
Life is precious. I welcome the passion
ignited from the awareness of my finite
time in this body.
UNSTOPPABLE GALA
Okay, now this one was significant to me because
it’s been a long time in the making.
I’m in business for 2 reasons:
1) Lifestyle- To have the freedom to create a lifestyle I love.
2) Legacy- To have the influence and impact to create
meaningful and positive change.
The first few years of my business were my “oh-shit-
can-I-really-do-this-I-need-clients-now-to-pay-bills”?
years.
The following years were my “holy-shit-it’s-happening-
I’m-making-great-money-and-living-my-dream”!
Now, I have the leverage to take it beyond that and
give even more.
I have a strong humanitarian part of me, and ultimately,
my big mission is to eradicate poverty on the planet.
To step into this mission in a bigger way, I sponsored
the Unstoppable Gala, a big fundraiser led by Cynthia
Kersey.
It was extraordinary!
SHADOW INTEGRATION
I mentioned earlier that when I was on the island in
Belize, a profound unraveling was put into motion.
See, many people want to live the good life.
They want to be free.
Yet, they don’t walk through one of the gateways
to arrive there- THE SHADOW.
Shadow work is not new to me. I’ve done quite a
bit through the years. I teach it in my Medicine
of Money program and to some of my private clients.
My coach had challenged me- in his remarkable truth
telling ways – to accept parts of me that I hadn’t
recognized I was rejecting.
The parts that I thought would make me unlovable
or unacceptable to others.
This included my sexuality.
True to my path, I went full in.
Whew!
The mirror kept revealing.
Things I thought I had grown out of. Judgments that
I thought I was too enlightened to have.
I got in touch with and released deep shame.
This work has had a profound effect on me.
I feel more integrated, whole, accepting
and solid in who I am.
KAUAI
There’s not much to say here other than
that I LOVE Kauai! I had to put this on
my list because it was such a juicy highlight.
I went with one of my business play partners,
Lindsay A Miller, for a couple of weeks.
We scouted places to host clients (I do
plan on leading retreats there!).
We ate the BEST fish tacos ever.
We helped a few clients uplevel their business
and brand platform.
And… we simply enjoyed the sweet aloha
spirit and lavish goodness of stunning beaches
and mama ocean.
SEDONA
I just wanted to add this because I absolutely
LOVE this picture — a capture of empowered,
liberated women during my Wealthy Goddess
Mastermind Retreat in August.
I am honored and grateful to do what I love.
SURRENDER AND ANXIETY
From Sedona I headed to Boise for an
unexpected trip to be with family.
While I pride myself on transparency, there are aspects
of what transpired this fall for me that are so raw and
vulnerable, I am not ready (or may never be) to divulge
the details.
But what I do want you to know is that something
happened that brought me to my knees.
I felt like everything was falling apart.
Yeah, I get it. Breakdown to breakthrough.
It’s always darkest before the dawn.
I’ve heard it. I’ve experienced it. I’ve taught it.
Yet, something SO deep and core in me was rattled that
I actually couldn’t get a perspective on this one for
a while.
It was a continuation of my shadow work.
It was unresolved little girl work.
It was another round of the “healers journey”.
For a period of about 7 weeks, I was totally out
of my self. I felt like I had been stripped of me.
I wasn’t sleeping, had nausea and on a number
of occasions actually had anxiety attacks.
Compassion and surrender were my teachers.
I was radically humbled.
I felt like on some level I had died.
While I am certain I have crossed the threshold
from the darkest of the dark, I am still
feeling the ripples.
I trust the integration for my highest,
and for the highest of the purpose I am
here to serve.
What I am confident of is that it has made
me a better person, more congruent and more
connected than ever before.
MONTEREY BAY
I’ll be short and sweet on this celebration.
In November I led my first larger gathering
of women, Wealthy Goddess LIVE.
I was so in my sweet spot!
It felt like a culmination of years of my career.
We raised $12,000 for the Unstoppable Foundation.
We raised our wealth consciousness with high vibe music.
Women left equipped to lead their dream come true
money-making businesses.
NOW
Through the dark night.
I am content.
In Seattle.
Just ate a raw cacao ball.
Exploring a deepening in relationship.
Restored with a greater strength and purpose than ever.
On fire for a most fabulous and successful 2014.