I remember when I “woke up” with the revelation that MY CHOICES could influence my reality.
It was delivered through a SUDDEN HEALTH CRISIS 20 + years ago. I was handed a slip of paper with a diagnosis, and with it, a loaded list of assumptions and prescribed life.
I was jaw-drop stunned.
Yet…
…I could feel a FIERCE WARRIOR inside me insisting on more.
She told me that I could be my own advocate.
She helped me remember I could access greater wisdom about my power and inner authority.
She guided me to understand how to make choices that shape my destiny.
(Picture taken by Lindsay A. Miller, Kauai Wealthy Goddess Retreat 2014.)
It was then that I REJECTED what I had been told was ‘true’, and became a rigorous student in optimal health and manifesting.
Just before that I had been seeking my FREEDOM.
Like many young adult women, I unfortunately was looking in the wrong places. With an incessant need for approval and validation, I made unhealthy decisions. I didn’t know my limits. I didn’t know how to say no. I didn’t know how to follow my intuition. I didn’t know I was
okay to be me.
My health awakening commanded that I examine my choices.
For the first time, I was looking more closely into the mirror of cause and effect. If I make this choice….I go down that road. If I make that choice…. I go down another.
Seems simple when I say it now. But at the time, it was life-changing.
Like many women, I had created a persona and a set of defense mechanisms to keep me “SAFE” in the world.
I had learned that shining my light brought too much unwanted attention. I had discovered the cruelty of others’ insecurities projected on me. I had shrunk in the face of rejection when attempting to show my true self.
So, I constructed my walls to ‘make do’ in a world that denies women a TRULY safe culture to discover and express her authentic, unapologetic, wild, joyous self.
As a result, I had forgotten who I really was. I just thought I was supposed to be a good girl and respond to what was outside me. The strongest personality, the more knowledgeable authority, the circumstances. I was a REACTOR of life.
But …
… My soul had ENOUGH of my complacency, my quiet desperation and my compromised truth.
That’s when the wake up happened. And it had to happen in such a way that got my attention. Sometimes, a crisis or reality-bending challenge is the only route to get us to listen.
The lessons of that time still shape me today.
Here are a few lessons I believe will serve you:
1) I GAVE THANKS FOR THE CHALLENGE!
At the time, I embraced a belief that there was wisdom in my soul and trusted the opportunities that wanted to emerge. If I had responded with fear, labels, resentment or victim consciousness, I would have missed a profound opening. I’d definitely be living a caged life today.
2) I CONSIDERED EXPERT ADVICE AND WEIGHED IT CONSCIOUSLY ALONG SIDE MY INNER AUTHORITY!
Clearly, there are many resources in our system. I am grateful for advancements, technology, research and people who care about science and make a study of it all. But, I also allowed my inner wisdom to be part of the equation. I didn’t let my voice be drown out. I didn’t let the trance of external authority determine my path. I tapped a deeper knowing of what was right for me. I learned to listen to my body. Experiment with how I felt. Trust my intuition. I created a health and lifestyle plan based on my values and what brought out the best in me.
3) I TOOK CHARGE!
Initially, the reactor in me felt shaken by what was happening. Had I followed that initial response, I would have set in motion a pathway of helplessness, limitation and dissatisfaction. Fortunately, my bold soul had my attention as well. I was aroused by the understanding that I could change my reality and make choices that influenced my destiny. So, I chose to be the creator. I took responsibility for my life, my health and my reality. I fired my doctor. I hired a new one who took a holistic approach. I asked questions. I investigated. I raised my standards. I changed habits. I adopted a new mindset. I became aware of my thought patterns. I made choices in line with the results I wanted. I refined my ability to direct my attention and energy. I did not let anyone or anything distract me from creating what I knew was possible. I remained steadfast in my vision of vital health.
