Business “as usual” is impossible this week.

The white supremacists left me feeling disgusted and  sick to my stomach!!

And don’t even get me started on the president’s unacceptable lack of leadership by not denouncing it with the fervent moral standing the event calls for.

(He left the press conference yesterday boasting about owning a winery in Charlottesville. Really??? Are you f***-ing kidding me??)

Chants like, “Jews will not replace us” & “Go the f**k back to Africa” reverberate in my awareness.

The attempt to get to normal day to day tasks? Ah, yeah.  It hasn’t worked.

That’s because nothing is normal. Far from it.

It feels ethically irresponsible to remain silent.

I didn’t want to just message you touting the benefits of creating a lifestyle of freedom this week.

Now, I am not going to do a dive bomb into shaming myself for the success I’ve created.

OR do a 180 and start condemning the quest for lifestyle freedom. (Because the core values are needed more than ever!)

BUT.

Seriously. Do you really need another picture of me with my hair blowing in the wind on the beach today??

I think not!

What I AM going to offer is the space for us to get real in service to HEALING the divide, transforming the hurts and undoing the deeply disturbing beliefs that lead to racism, extreme hatred and violence.

I AM going to get conscious to what this event is arousing in us and what it’s asking of me and my leadership.

I AM going to continue to ask the hard questions and shine the light on the shadows.

I’ll start with this.

I benefit from white privilege.

My wealth has been made more easily accessible, in part, because of my white privilege.

I take that seriously.

Truth is.

Sometimes I’m ashamed that my success is built upon the history and a system that oppressed and STILL oppresses black and indigenous people.

In fact, I put a considerable amount of thought, prayer and deliberation into my choice to become an entrepreneur and to make more money knowing this.

I resisted becoming successful in the ways I have because I was SO TERRIFIED I would just get swept up in a fantasy world that denied that so many of my brothers and sisters suffer and still struggle with BASIC human rights.

I felt repulsed at the prospect of contributing to the very system that I want to be part of undoing.

Truth is. I do live a life that represents only a small percentage of the population. (And I’m determined to change that!)

Times like this remind me of WHY I took the leap into business in the first place.

After returning from Africa in 2005, I was forever imprinted by the souls I encountered. The poverty and corruption I was exposed to and the reality of people – especially children – living in those conditions shocked me out of my comfort zone.

I came face to face with the reality of white privilege when in Nigeria in a way I never had.

I could see how the color of my skin gave me a pass to reality in a way that the people of that culture knew nothing of.

Sometimes, I felt like a celebrity there. People would flock to me.

There was an automatic power that was frightening to feel.

And, let’s face it. Part of why we were there was to raise awareness and open doors that only could be opened because of our skin color.

When I got back from Nigeria the first time, I swore to myself that I would always stay humble and in deep gratitude for my privileges. AND… not only that … I would USE them as an instrument of change.

I believe I’ve done well by this pledge.
I believe these times are asking for more.

I am evaluating… Am I doing enough?

I’m not asking from the parts like my obsessive perfectionist or inner critic that I still dance with around my enoughness.

I’m asking from the part of me that is a responsible caring fellow citizen and established leader dedicated to change.

Without judgment.

* Have I become lazy?
* Have I become complacent?
* Am I hiding in my personal growth beliefs?
* Am I justifying my success at the expense of others?
* Have I lost sight of the “WE” in pursuing “ME”?
* Do I take my privilege too much for granted?

I don’t know.

It’s necessary to ask.

I’m willing. And frankly, I feel obligated.

I invite you to do the same.

Without judgment.

Truth is. It’s time.