OK.

I’m outing myself.

I’ve been quiet lately.

But maybe I crossed the line into hiding?

Some of it is simply my authentic need for deep restoration after giving every ounce of my being to serve my fabulous clients at 2 epic retreats and 4 brilliant  VIP days in Santa Fe last month.

It’s sublime.

I’m grateful I get to honor my rhythms after designing a business model that works for ME – my body, my spirit, my emotions.

MY way. MY terms.

Yeah. I’m THAT woman.

The one you can admire for staying true to what I know what I want.

The one you can slam and secretly resent for stay true to what I know I want.

You can watch me and learn.
You can see yourself in me.
You can raise your standards by me having raised mine.

Or you can bad mouth me and stay in your limits.

Whatever.

It’s funny. (Not in the ha ha kind of way)

We want women to be beautiful and strong and yet  we resent them,call them names and persecute them when they are.

Stupid mixed messages. What’s a gal to do??!

Liberate the wisdom of the Divine Feminine … and Do it her way, dammit!!

You’re going to be judged either way, so why not be judged while being UNAPOLOGETICALLY FREE & ABSURDLY PROSPEROUS?

I’m totally just writing stream of consciousness here to get my ass out of stuck mode, so enjoy my tangents. (Or not)

No plan.
No strategy.

Back to my quiet.

Yeah. There’s a rhythm of being that I’ve come to know about myself.

I’m a hermit, for one thing.

And….

I’m in permimenopause.

Weird.

It still feels like I’m going to a confessional at church what I say that. Like I’ve crept into a dark stall with bars between me and a priest outing myself for a sin.

That’s the deeply embedded shadow of the patriarchy for ya.
Grrrr.

I mean, how seriously f*cked up is that?

Here I am.

A woman in what is ultimately a sacred rite of passage.

Yet, I still feel the “secret shame”.

The womanly wisdom hidden i n the shadows, gone underground in the face of false power.

That’s why I need to out myself.

Because I can’t hide there.

I WON’T hide there.

Not in the grip of a paradigm that idealizes contrived, impossible standards of beauty and wealth.

The kind of standards that deny women’s phases and ever evolving stages of expression and beauty.

The kind of standards that systematically distances a woman from her inner knowing and intuitive power.

The kind of standards that teaches us to strive to  acquire more and more of what we don’t even need until we burn out.

The kind of standards that makes violence sexy and power “over” an accomplishment worthy of awards.

The kind of standards that protects guns more than a woman’s womb.

NO F*CKING WAY.

Not me.

Not on my watch.

The reinvention is in the works.

I feel it personally.

I’m changing. I’m becoming a different woman through this passage.

And as a soul who came for this holy assignment…

… you know, the one where a tribe of us bad ass light workers recognize each other, hear the call, and start beaming our gifts in unprecedented ways to turn the planet back into a life-affirming loving place…

…. I am also reinventing for this mission.

Deleting files.
Unpacking boxes.
Setting more boundaries.
Aligning with only Divine clients and relationships.

You know what I mean?

How are YOU reinventing yourself?

How is your body, your passage, your souls call reinventing YOU to become more of who you know you are meant to be?

How are you being changed in service to the reinvention of beauty, aging and wealth that truly nourishes all life?

OK.

I’m out now.

Let’s play.

With all that I am,

Kendra E Thornbury, MA